I am having a hard time letting go. Kids grow up and you are to give them room. Why is it hard for me to do this? Our oldest son will be 9 next month and the thought of this makes me cry. Where did the time go? I can vividly see him in my arms the day he was born. I have horrified. I was a mom, what on earth do I do? Thankfully God gives us moms wisdom on what to do and now fast forwarding almost 9 years later it’s no big deal after having 5 kids.
Those days of being little and replying on his mama seemed like yesterday but now he is growing up. His likes have completely changed and some of the things he used to enjoy are now babyish to him. How did all of that happen so quickly? Where is my little boy? I cry when I think about the following years to come and how one day the kids will be grown up and have moved out and on their own. I couldn’t imagine not seeing them daily, breaks my heart so I try to enjoy the blessings now. Thankful that I spend everyday with my kids, staying home with them, teaching them, playing with them and being their mom.
Then there’s the smallest task of public restrooms. My 2 older boys they do not want to go in the women’s bathroom anymore with their little sisters and brother and myself even if it’s to quickly to wash their hands. I have struggled with this because you never know what lurks in the men’s room. I cannot see…………… the door is closed. A million things go on in my mind and well I am not there to protect them. So at the ages of almost 9 and 7 years old what do I do? I cannot blame them not wanting to be in a women’s bathroom even though there are stalls with doors. So I am letting go just a little…………….
It’s called the minute and a half rule. Go in go to the bathroom in a stall only (no urinal) lock the door, get out wash hands and that’s it. Anything longer than that I am coming in. I do not want my kids to be a victim. i do not want my kids preyed on in the men’s room. I am sure I cannot possibly be the only mom that feels this or things this am I? Am I paranoid or I am just a mom who adores her children? How sad is it that I am scared of my kids using a public bathroom without me there in the same area?
So I maybe I am an over protective mom but too many times I hear about children being a victim. So letting go just a little well it’s hard for me. I know one day letting go just a little will eventually turn into letting go a lot and frankly that is what I dread. Even though I find motherhood very rewarding it’s no easy job. There is no book that could ever prepare us for the ups and downs and hard decisions we have to make. I wouldn’t have it any other way though. I know letting go when needed is healthy for children and parents but it’s definitely not easy! How do you cope with letting go?
My oldest is going to be TEN in August and I Have no idea where almost a decade has gone. It’s definitely not easy to let go!
I am like the poster child for having a hard time letting go. My daughter is autistic, and despite being friendly is non-verbal. A perfect storm of targets for creeps and meanies.
I think at 9, there is nothing wrong with NOT letting go! They are still KIDS at that point and need a lot of protection! My daughter is 16 (16 and a half, if she says it) and is going to the fair with her friends ALONE for the first time tonight…I struggled with the decision to let her go, but I think she is at the point where she should have that kind of freedom in little doses.
Let me TELL you! My oldest daughter is preparing to go to college in a few months. Letting go? It’s been a process. I’ve obviously known this was coming for years, so I have been lengthening the “chain” a little bit at the time. She is so independent and capable (works a job and an internship and drives herself everywhere…) Part of my coping success is due to the fact that I don’t let myself think about it too much!
that’s how I cope. I just avoid thinking about it LOL
I feel for you. I had to let go a lot when my son left the nest recently. It hurts so much not being able to see his face every day. Some days I can hardly take it. I know it’s the cycle of life, but still it’s difficult.
Oh boy. My son will turn 5 soon; I dread the days when he’ll have to venture into the men’s room alone. Honestly, we might not leave the house then!
It’s never easy to let go even when they are older. Mine are 16 & 20 now. It’s still hard.
I know what you mean. I’m not there yet with my grandson that we raise, but I know I will be…however, my husband will be worse. We baby him way too much as it is and we do need to stop…but letting go is totally different. Ive lost one son already – so letting this one go into the wide open world will be a challenge to us both.
i know, i think most mommies struggle with this. my brother has often said “what happened to my sister???” when it come to my son. yeah, anyplace else, but not when it comes to the kiddo, ay? hahaha
For me change is never goo, I have such issues letting go so I can feel for you.
It’s so hard to let go, but I often think that by me letting go a little bit, they have a lot to gain.
Letting go is so hard. My kids are grown and I still want to help them through the hard times. I have to remind myself not to…let them grow on their own.
Just wait till they leave for college! I cried like a baby the day we dropped my oldest at college.
You are not an over protective mom. You are a Momma Bear wanting her cubs to stay cubs. I am the same way with my 7 year old. She just turned 7 in the beginning of march, and I cried that day. My preemie isn’t a baby anymore. Its so hard for us moms to let go. But it has to be done you know? She is my only one, I am glad I wont be going through this again. Thanks for the share!
I think the public restroom challenge is the worst for everyone. My grand son is 14 and I still worry about him going in a men’s bathroom. We just try and pick safe places and set time limits on how long to be in there before I worry. Letting go is hard but appreciating the new age and development is one not to miss either.
Letting go can be really hard, but I commend you for trying to give her a little independence and freedom. While still a kid, they are really developing their own personality and interests at this time which should be fostered.
My oldest will be 8 next week and I can’t believe it! 🙁 I have a hard time letting to as well!
I can’t imagine how hard it is to let go. Who ever knew that growing up would be so hard, right? Thanks for sharing girl!
It is so hard for me to let go. My little boy is growing right before my eyes. I sometimes tear up when I see him doing new things and getting bigger. He told me the other day that I should have another baby because I need to let him get bigger. lol.
Timely post. I’m taking my daughter to her junior high orientation tonight. I’m not ready!!!
i’m not a mom but I imagine this would be my biggest struggle! Good luck with everything!
Letting go and letting them grow up is one of the hardest things to do. My 6yo son is starting to complain about having to use the women’s restroom with me, but sending him in alone just scares me.
My kids are a little older, but it is still sometimes hard to let them go and do things themselves.. We do try and give them some room, but it is not that easy.
I So Know The Feeling I FINALLY Had To Realize My Son Was Growing Up When He Went To Play With His New Friend Across The Street & I Went To Hold His Hand & He Said” MOM I DON’T NEED YOU TO HELP ME CROSS THE STREET, YOUR EMBARRASSING ME” LOL! He WILL ALWAYS BE MY BABY IN MY EYES! XOXO
the bathroom thing terrifies me. my son refuses the ladies room and hes’ 6 1/2. I always either wait till it’s empty or do what you do and give a time. i’m very vocal. ive also asked for employees at a store to go in at times.
I don’t have children, so I could only imagine how hard it must be to watch them grow up, but exciting as well~
I totally understand! I can’t believe where the time has even gone. I cherish every day I have, maybe not every moment…but I try!
My oldest is 11 and she is just not getting to the point of saying to me “I can do it myself, mom. I’m 11!!!” I’m not interested in letting go, either.
We All Have To Let The Little Birds Fly Out Of The Nest Even If It’s Very Hard We Have To So They Learn In This World!!
It’s always hard to let go. Mine are 17&21 and I still have trouble with it.
My oldest is 12 and I’m starting to see the teen in her come out. Scary and sad at the same time because my baby is growing up.
I am trying to be better at letting go – my oldest turned 9 in December. But it’s so hard – probably the hardest part of parenting.
My oldest is 19 and I don’t think I will every “let her go”.
My youngest is 3 and the last in a family of 4.
Putting away the baby stuff was hard but I can say for 100% that I am DONE!
My kids are 1,3, and almost 7 years old. I think my kids are getting older way to quickly and I hate it so much! Makes me sad!
Oh I don’t like letting my boys go in public bathrooms without me. And I feel bad bringing my older kids into the women’s restroom in case anyone in there doesn’t want little boys. Luckily most women are nice and understanding. It’s funny, little girls will point and I’ll hear them say, “Mom! There’s a BOY in the girls bathroom!” And the mom will be like, “It’s okay. He’s with his mom.” LOL
Restrooms are definitely a challenge. I have 3 boys and while they are still young enough to come in with me I dread the day they are too old to do that.
My oldest is 10 years-old, it is so hard to let go… Even just a little bit. I feel your pain.
It is such a fine line between being protective and stifling. We all have to walk that line and go with our guts!
Nope, don’t think that’s overprotective at all! In fact, I love that minute and half rule! Going to remember that when mine gets older!
I’m not a mom yet, but I know I’ll have a hard time letting go when I am!
What a great post, it is oh so hard. My son is 14 and it honestly and surprisingly hasn’t gotten a whole lot easier! It’s hard not to want to guide and protect every minute of the day!
My daughter is 10 months old, and I haven’t spent more than an hour away from her yet. I can’t bring myself to stay away from her for any longer. It’s so hard. I can’t imagine how hard it’s going to be when she is old enough to start doing things for herself, and no longer wants me around all the time.
My stepson grew up and didn’t want to listen to us, didn’t want to study or work, so we had to let him go on his own, it was hard but necessary. My son is 10 and he is growing up to be responsible young man, but I’ve learned early on, you will keep them closer if you let them go….specially when they are teens….
I feel that I am also very paranoid as a Mom. Sometimes I question myself and wonder if I’m really balanced enough as a person, but I do too have a hard time letting go. I think though being easy on ourselves is the best thing to do because in the end we are just trying to do our best!
I feel this way all the time with my little one. He’ll be turning 3 soon and I just can’t believe where the time has gone.
My oldest is 4 and just typing that kind of blows my mind!
I think all moms are the same when it comes to this. Because we love them. And its okay to hold on as long as you can because they still need you.
Roots and wings!! That’s what my mom said. My 4.5 yo is already asking to go alone!
I have three children, ages eight and under… I can honestly say that I think about this every day! I have no idea how I will cope. I would like to think that I will let go gradually, with ease, and gracefully. Though I know that in truth I will be a complete and blathering mess.
I know how that feels! My little one is four and I already think it’s going too fast! Still deciding if homeschooling is the way to go for us…not much longer to decide!
I do understand that letting go… So hard.
I think it’s a mom thing. I see it in my mother even though I’m 38 years old. I guess we are putting too much soul into raising our kids.
My son is 6. He was made fun of in a public restroom by a bigger girl (maybe 8?) who thought he shouldn’t be in the women’s room. If dad or one of his big brothers aren’t with me though, I am taking him in with me, much to his chagrin. He’s still too little to go alone. I like the minute-ish rule you have for when he’s a bit older.
My oldest is 11 and I can definitely attest to the fact that they fight for their independence to do their own thing.
I can’t imagine how hard it is to let go.
So true letting go can be hard. Giving children responsibilities is so important for their success!
My oldest just turned six and you are right, it seems like just days ago. The time flies by and each day is so precious.
My baby is only 1 1/2 years old and I cannot imagine him turning nine yet!
It definitely is a hard thing to do. I hate change!
Oh! I’ve only got one and I feel exactly the same. I could only imagine how 5 would be! But the thing is, they only have one mom and to each of them, no matter how many relationships they go through, people they meet, or adventures they have, you will always occupy the biggest part of their hearts. I know most parents feel just as sad to let go, but one day, you’ll have grandchildren and your family will grow and you will feel 100 % blessed and loved, which my grandma says is the best feeling in the world!