Allowing Kids To Make Decisions, It’s Not Easy!


decisions button


Being a parent is not an easy task. I think it’s one of the hardest jobs ever.  Decision making can be hard. I am a very sentimental mom. Yes I am way behind on my kids scrapbooking but I save everything from their 1st hair from their 1st haircut to their baby teeth. 


My oldest daughter had beautiful hair. Straight, long blonde hair. I told her all the time I would switch hair with her if I could. 

abi long hair back

I had never cut her hair and a few months before she turned 5 she was begging for her hair to be cut but I kept saying no because it was her baby hair, I didn’t want to let go.  

abi long hair front

Even though I was tired of the daily battle of brushing her hair and her crying because she hates for hair to be brushed but why? I was being selfish.  It was her hair and afterall it was only hair. After months and months of the battle of brushing her hair and styling it for her I conceded. I lost the battle.  It wasn’t fair to my daughter because I was holding on to the physical baby part of her when she just wanted to be a little girl and not a baby.


At 5 years old she is old enough to know what kind of hairstyle she wants. Not only did she want her haircut she wanted her ears pierced.  If it’s in reason I needed to allow her to make those decisions. I am teaching her how to be a young lady, to be modest and to make right Godly choices.  So I let go, I conceded. She wanted her hair cut much shorter but we compromised and boy was she happy to have it cut and now there is no more crying when  I brush her hair.  AND that same very day we got her ears pierced. I am glad I got her hair cut, she is a happy little girl and she is still my little girl no matter the hairstyle. 

 abi 1st haircut collage

I know as she gets older the decisions will be a lot harder than just getting her hair cut. I am sure they will be ones that I will cringe at but as parents it’s our responsibility to teach them correctly so that they do make the right decisions right?  What about you, what does your child want to do but you are holding back?  Is it a decision that is in reason? 


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  1. When I was six, my mom made the decision to cut all my hair off for me. I had super long hair and she gave me a short boy cut. It was awful.

  2. It is so hard to let go, but in the end you have to trust your child. Your daughter is adorable/

  3. I know how hard it can be to see them be a little independent. Just watching my 4 yo choose his own cereal and pour it himself made me wispy.

  4. aww I bet that was hard to let her baby hair go! I remember when my sister had my nephews hair cut for the first time I cried lol!

  5. Amanda @ Erickson & Co. says:

    As a parent I know that it is sometimes hard to allow our children to make their own decisions. However, I know how important it is to allow them to do so, especially while we are standing in the background to help them learn from their decisions and actions. It is a lot better for them to figure it out when they are young than to have them be out of the house trying to figure it out. Thank for sharing. I love inspiring posts!

  6. she looks adorable 🙂

  7. With six kids ranging from age 8 to 17, I keep asking myself when this part of parenting will get easier. What a great post, thank you for sharing.

  8. Her new hair cut is adorable. We went through the same thing with my daughter when she was little. It wasn’t easy.

  9. I love her hair! She looks beautiful! 🙂

  10. I bet this is a day she will remember for ever. It is hard sometimes letting go but it sounds like you both feel you made the right decision and that is great. I let my kids make decisions too even when i knew it would be a mistake but that is also how they learn to make correct choices.

  11. That was a big decision for her! It sounds like it was harder on you than it was on her though! She is a cutie.

  12. Kudos to you for taking your daughter’s wishes into consideration, especially on the little things like this. My sister in law won’t allow her youngest daughter to cut her hair and it’s constantly a mangled mess. My niece begs to have it cut whenever she comes over, but I know the sister in law would never forgive me. I wish she’d just listen to her daughter.

  13. My sister did the same thing with my niece. She has curly hair and she let it go without cutting it for 4 years. She didn’t want to lose the curls. My niece decided she wanted to get her hair cut after seeing someone have it done on TV. I think my sister cried!

  14. Hair is hard for me too! I am going to cry the day my daughter wants to cut her hair.

    • It was hard for me when my daughter decided to cut her hair. But she was happy and looked beautiful!

  15. I told my daughter that after 3rd grade she can help choose her hair style. For now I am keeping it natural and long… so we can have all the iconic pig tail and braid pics for later on. I feel your pain though… it is hard to see them growing up because we know they will never get that back. I would give anything for my daughter’s soft, straight hair with gorgeous highlights.

  16. Her hair looks awesome now! I think you made the right choice letting her decide! Beautiful girl!

  17. I feel your pain. I went through the same thing with my daughters. And now with my teens I have some serious trouble letting them make decisions for themselves but I know that I have to.

  18. It is so important to allow children to make decisions. Choices about who they are is so important.

  19. She has beautiful hair, and I love the new look! It was nice to see you let her make her decision, it will be nice for summer :-)!

  20. I don’t have kids, but I can imagine allowing them to make decisions like this. It’s a great way to teach about consequences, too. On the off chance that they don’t like their hair cut… or regret getting their ears pierced, it might teach them to think a little harder about their next decision.

  21. It is hard to let go, but we also want them to become independent. It’s quite the double edged sword. 🙂

  22. It can be tough letting go sometimes and even at 2 I sometimes let my toddler make decisions as to what to wear. She hardly ever matches but I’m letting her show her independence and she feels good when I do. You’re doing a great job and it’ll get easier as time goes on.

  23. She did have long beautiful hair I can see why you didn’t want to let her get it cut. I hope that as the decisions get harder that she understands that sometimes parents need more time to consider things and decisions can’t always be spur of the moment. Glad everyone is happy with the result of her haircut.

  24. Ohmagoodness, I just went through this with my 5 yo daughter. She donated hers to Locks of Love. It’s so hard letting them make those decisions!

  25. I know that some times it is hard to let your kids make those decisions. I want to think that my kids are still 18 months and need everything chosen for them. Thanks for the reminder that they can learn and grow from making these decisions themself.

  26. Letting go and letting them make the decisions is always so hard. I have been having the same struggle with letting my boys pick out their own clothing. They don’t like the same style I like. But there is nothing wrong with what they like to wear. I just like a more classy look on them. They like the typical T-shirt look. So I’m learning to let go. It’s something they need to know how to make wise decisions. So I tell my boys if they can give me good reasons as to why they want something; showing that they have thought it through; I am very apt to let them make the decision and have it their way; even if I want it a different way. Because they need this crucial skill in life.

  27. She looks great with the new haircut.. We always let our kids make their own decisions, but we are there if we feel that they are not the right ones.

  28. Since I do have children this is hard for me to understand on a certain level, but I can see the importance of allowing children to have some independence and make their own decisions at times.

  29. Oh I remember when my daughter decided to cut her hair, I cried silently in the corner. She regretted it a week later, but its has grown since then thank goodness.

  30. She looks beautiful!! What a good mom you are letting her make such an important decision and standing by her.

  31. It really sounds like at the young age of 5 years old your daughter is starting to make her own decisions and is becoming quite the independent young lady! I think your guys’ compromise is perfect; her hair is super adorable 🙂

  32. It is hard to let go of the baby. I wouldn’t cut my son’s hair either. His baby curls were just so cute.

  33. Oh! I think I would have had a hard time with it too. Her hair was so beautiful, but it still is. It’s nice that you’re keeping it too.

  34. I remember when my daughter wanted to cut her hair! I loved it long, but I let her make her own decisions as well. She loves it now!

  35. Amy Desrosiers says:

    My daughter is 7 and requested I cut her blonder hair too. I did it and now she loves it and so do I!

  36. lisa jones says:

    When They Are Little I Believe They Should Have Choices Like Would You Like Eggs Or Cereal Once They Get Like ten Or So Then You Can let Them Have Opinions & Choices Of More Important Thing Just My Opinion !! XO

  37. It’s so true, it is hard to step back and realize our kids are growing up and can make decisions on their own.

  38. What a cute hair cut! I would have had a hard time letting her make the choice at 5 years old as well.

    I know I need to let my boys make their own decisions and I do about little things like what they wear, however a hair cut is so permanent in my mind.

  39. she is so beautiful! but you have to let them make choices at some point. its only hair right! it grows back. no big deal!

  40. It can be hard letting them make their own decisions. She’s adorable

  41. It’s hard to accept that our kids have minds of their owns but sometimes we have to just do what they sing in Frozen, and “let it go!” Her hair looks adorable, by the way!

  42. Awe, I went through this with one of my twins not too long ago, she wanted her hair cut right off. Took me a while to agree and she’s so cute with short hair – we must pick our battles

  43. She will always remember that you allowed her to make choices. Their is great empowerment in that. You will have to say NO on many things so her knowing that you say YES at times will let her know that you let her make her choices when they are good ones.

  44. I totally know how you feel! My 15 year old son just cut off all his beautiful curly hair and it makes me so sad when I think about it! He looks handsome but DIFFERENT and I miss his curls!

  45. Aw, what a cutie! It is so hard as they start to get older… and it goes so fast! My kids are 4 and 2 so the 4yo is making decisions, but I try to provide the acceptable options 😉

  46. Hair will grow back. I pick battles and hair isn’t one 🙂

    Hers looks super cute!

  47. I think your daughter deciding about her hair was awesome. I also don’t think you lost the battle. Any relationship will need to have comprise and concession .Even one between a mom and her daughter!

  48. Hair isn’t a battle I was ever willing to fight either. It grows back, it’s only temporary, so it’s easier to be flexible.

  49. Aww! I was waiting for that time with my daughter, but she got to the scissors first – lol so now her beautiful loooong baby hair is a crooked, jagged mess. (How’s that for decision making?) 😛

  50. Little ones grow so quickly and want to take their own decisions be it a hair cut or the dress they want to buy to many bigger and serious decisions 🙂

    Her hair were really long and beautiful, she loked like a young Rupanzel 🙂

  51. What a cutie! Just a few days ago I did the same with my daughter. She is almost nine, and has always had incredibly long hair. It was so hard to do, but I couldn’t handle the fighting and freaking out twice a day anymore 😉 She loves it, thank goodness!

  52. My daughter did the same, she decided she no longer liked long hair and wanted to cut it. Although I didn’t want her to, I let her make that decision. She donated her hair!

  53. I’m always showing my son how important it is to make his own decisions! I agree with you!

  54. Angela S says:

    I had such a hard time letting my son make decisions for himself when he was younger. I always had to remind myself that if he falls down he will get right back up.

  55. Awe… I know the feeling… my DD has beautiful long hair as well.. but I end up fighting with her because she doesn’t take care of it nor does she want me to brush it. Your daughter may decide to grow her hair back out eventually 🙂

  56. Awe! She’s such a cutie. My mom always told me the best thing you can do for your children is give them roots and wings. Not easy, but important.

  57. It’s hard letting go and most times it’s a lesson for us as parents to trust God with their lives. Hard but important! 🙁

  58. God allows us to be stewards over our children and it is hard because He gives them free will to make decisions. It is definitely a hard balancing act.

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