Have you ever received unsolicited advice before? I write this article to women who have been told they should not have anymore children by their friends, family or maybe even their doctor.
Our 1st child was born in 2005, I had never planned on having a C-section. As a matter of fact I was dead set against it. I wanted to experience a natural birth but things did not quite go as planned. So after many hours in labor and a baby with a large head a C-section was done. Fast forwarding through 4 more pregnancies and C-sections I was told after baby 5 by my obgyn not to have anymore children because my uterus was thin from all the C-sections. In June of 2015 I got pregnant and miscarried.
People never know what quite to say when you have a miscarriage, sometimes they say some pretty hurtful things. I did not want to talk to anyone, I wanted to be left alone but when I finally did open up the comments I heard were, “Maybe this is God’s way of telling you no more kids in your future” or “It was not meant to be.” Comments like these made me alienate myself from certain people for awhile. Between the loss and the comments I wanted to me left alone. I prayed, prayed for God’s will for my family.
God had a different plan for my family, one that included having another baby because a few months after my miscarriage I got pregnant again. This time my obgyn was a nervous wreck that during my pregnancy I would have a uterine eruption from all the past C-sections. This too took prayer, while everyone around me seemed nervous I was at peace that everything was going to be OK.
When I told family and friends I was pregnant again the comments came back but this time they were things like, ” I am disappointed in you”, or ” What if you die then your kids will not have a mother”. I understand they were concerned about my health but I would have thought that people would have been happy for me especially after the loss. While the comments hurt I knew who was in control and it was not me.
My obgyn decided to do my C-section 4 weeks early due to part of my uterus muscle was missing from the stretching throughout the pregnancy. When baby 6 was born (April 26th) he was whisked off to the ICU due to his breathing. Now at 2 months old he has a few minor medical issues he is a healthy baby. As for me I am fine, no issues!
Why do I share this? I am glad I did not listen to what people said even most of the concerns were for my health because of all the c-sections. If I did I listen I would not have this beautiful baby. When I look into this beautiful baby’s his eyes I see God’s sovereignty. It is God that held my body together, it is God that blessed us with another baby.
So to women out there that want another baby and you are criticized because you want more whether it would be a C-section baby or not. I am not saying not to listen to medical advice because your circumstance maybe different than mine. You have a choice to listen to unsolicited advice or not!