Unsolicited Advice, Sometimes It’s Not Best To Listen To Others – #UnWantedAdvice #Baby6

Have you ever received unsolicited advice before? I write this article to women who have been told they should not have anymore children by their friends, family or maybe even their doctor.

 

Our 1st child was born in 2005, I had never planned on having a C-section. As a matter of fact I was dead set against it. I wanted to experience a natural birth but things did not quite go as planned. So after many hours in labor and a baby with a large head a C-section was done. Fast forwarding through 4 more pregnancies and C-sections I was told after baby 5 by my obgyn not to have anymore children because my uterus was thin from all the C-sections. In June of 2015 I got pregnant and miscarried

 

People never know what quite to say when you have a miscarriage, sometimes they say some pretty hurtful things.  I did not want to talk to anyone, I wanted to be left alone but when I finally did open up the comments I heard were, “Maybe this is God’s way of telling you no more kids in your future” or “It was not meant to be.”  Comments like these made me alienate myself from certain people for awhile. Between the loss and the comments I wanted to me left alone.  I prayed, prayed for God’s will for my family.

Pregnancy

God had a different plan for my family, one that included having another baby because a few months after my miscarriage I got pregnant again. This time my obgyn was a nervous wreck that during my pregnancy I would have a uterine eruption from all the past C-sections. This too took prayer, while everyone around me seemed nervous I was at peace that everything was going to be OK.

 Pregnancy 

When I told family and friends I was pregnant again the comments came back but this time they were things like, ” I am disappointed in you”,  or ” What if you die then your kids will not have a mother”.  I understand they were concerned about my health but I would have thought that people would have been happy for me especially after the loss.  While the comments hurt I knew who was in control and it was not me.

 Pregnancy

My obgyn decided to do my C-section 4 weeks early due to part of my uterus muscle was missing from the stretching throughout the pregnancy.  When baby 6 was born (April 26th) he was whisked off to the ICU due to his breathing.  Now at 2 months old he has a few minor medical issues he is a healthy baby. As for me I am fine, no issues!

Pregnancy

Why do I share this? I am glad I did not listen to what people said even most of the concerns were for my health because of all the c-sections. If I did I listen I would not have this beautiful baby. When I look into this beautiful baby’s his eyes I see God’s sovereignty.  It is God that held my body together, it is God that blessed us with another baby.

 pregnancy

So to women out there that want another baby and you are criticized because you want more whether it would be a C-section baby or not. I am not saying not to listen to medical advice because your circumstance maybe different than mine. You have a choice to listen to unsolicited advice or not!

 


Comments

  1. I love this post. First of all, I’m so happy that everything worked out for you AND your beautiful baby. Secondly, you really need to follow your gut, and this is a perfect example.

  2. Congratulations on the new baby! He is so adorable! I found this post really inspiring. It speaks so much of how women are – we are fighters! We have an unwavering faith in God and we are able to effectively take negative criticism with our chin held high.

  3. Congratulations! He is beautiful. You know what’s right for your family. I’m sorry some people were not so nice.

  4. Aww, I’m glad he’s doing well! He’s super cute! We definitely have to take what others say with a grain of salt.

  5. Everyone seems to have an opinion these days. Sometimes you have to be as blunt as they are and say MYOB.

  6. Thank you for this. I wish I had known you years ago when I lost a child. I had no support and was so devastated i made a decision i now regret because i had no one to help me though or talk it out.

  7. I love this! Yes, things happen that aren’t planned and who cares what everyone thinks. People should keep their negative views to themselves. Your baby is adorable. Before I had a miscarriage last October my mother was very negative about my pregnancy. Out of all people you want family to be supportive. She felt guilty. Now that I’m almost due for my 3rd baby, she is more supportive, yet still can’t help herself with advice I don’t want. Lol.

  8. super congrats on your new blessing. couldn’t agree with this post any more! great advice!

  9. Yes sometimes others make comments that just are not right. You cannot know what the other person is feeling, or truly know why they make decisions they do. Glad everything is working out for both your family.

  10. CourtneyLynne says:

    Awwwww what a cutie!!!!! People can definitely be annoying with their opinions. All you can do is ignore the nonsense and do what makes you happy

  11. People have nothing better in this world than to judge people. I hope you have a healthy family that is most important.

  12. Kimberly says:

    Congratulations on the newest addition!! It’s ridiculous how many people feel the need to comment on another person’s life decision. We all need to do what’s best for us and our families. I’m glad you made it through okay.

  13. That must have been so difficult for you. When I miscarried, I wanted to be left alone too. I only talked with a close friend that had a similar experience. Not because misery loves company, but because she went through it and knew what NOT to say. I feel that people that never went through something are so quick to give their two cents. You are a grown woman and beautiful mom, getting pregnant should be something everyone is happy about. I totally get them worrying about your health, but they should choose wiser words. Anyways, I’m glad to see baby and mama are doing wonderful! Take care!

  14. Maryann D. says:

    Such a beautiful baby and wonderful photos. Congratulations to all of you.

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